This is an ocotillo, my favorite cactus. When we were out west for Christmas, this one was blooming in the desert. I love how vibrant the blooms are, but if you look below they grow above some serious thorns. Just like our lives. God has something beautiful planned for us but there seems to be thorns along the way. A few posts ago I announced that we were having another baby. On Thursday we found out that I had a miscarriage. I had some signs leading up to it, so it was not a huge shock, but still very disappointing. The kids have handled it so well. When Dennis told them that they now have a sibling waiting for them in heaven, they both responded with a "I wish we could go there now!" I love how their childlike faith can embrace the concept of heaven and their baby brother or sister safe in the arms of Jesus so easily. God has given us a blanket of perspective in all of this. I felt immediately covered in how we are so blessed with three beautiful children, protected from a harder situation if I had been further along in the pregnancy, and surrounded by prayers, loved ones and having others close by that have been through similar experiences. I feel like I don't really know how to grieve, I'll be fine then in a funk. But I can truly say that I feel His peace around me and my family, and I have a hope that isn't just a daydream, but something real.

I know many of you know, but for those that didn't or that I haven't talked to, I just wanted to have you hear it from me. Please don't take it personally if we haven't spoken on the phone or face to face. Honestly, I'm a bit talked out. However know that I have been eating up your notes of encouragement, and feeling comfort from the Father because of your prayers. I remember being on the other side of this with others and not knowing what to do or say. So I'll tell you. Don't be afraid to ask about it. I'll probably be fine to talk and if I don't want to talk about it I'll be honest, just don't be offended. Thanks again for all the love.